successes-failures

succes
failures

Professional success

The Case of T.K.

The mother in this story arrived in the Maternity House with her two children. The mother was totally hearing impaired with her left ear and 90% hearing impaired with her right ear. The four-year-old daughter and the two-year-old son lived their everyday lives accommodated to their mother’s handicap. The mother was perfectly able the read from lips and her speech was understandable. She did not have any success in managing her life, she had lived using the possibilities that had arisen day-by-day. They arrived from a village near Miskolc, where she had already collected a huge debt towards the public utilities. In the winter they already had no electricity and gas, thus they could not stay. Our resident’s, let us call her Krisztina, mother and husband had moved to Canada years before, they had even received citizenship there. Krisztina and her half-brother were already adults and they did not want to leave the country. At that time she had not thought that she would be totally left alone with her two children and her hearing impairment. The father of the children is a married man who did not care for them.

At the time of her arrival it was difficult for her to fit in. It turned out that a new hearing aid can be prescribed for her and we involved the Support Service to manage the case and as an escort for the patient. We also started to arrange disability benefit for her with the help of our lawyer. We wished her to have a small apartment in a village in accordance with the local government where she could make a living on her pension, other income and occasional hairdresser’s work. However, Krisztina wished to be among her family and would have liked to move to her mother. We got in contact with her mother on more occasions, but she could not afford the fees of Krisztina’s journey. It was that time when the resolution of the pension institution arrived that she would get her pension for half a year retrospectively. Thus Krisztina made a final decision to travel to her mother. We helped her with everything. We have talked to her more times since then and they feel good with her mother, she is learning as a deaf person to read English  from lips.

The case of Krisztina gives everybody strength both in our private life and in our work. Faith can fight anything with the help of God. 

 

The story of mother N.N. and her two children 

She tried to escape from a degraded partnership in which she fled from a foster home at that time. N.N. spent her childhood with foster parents and her puberty in state care. When her daughter was born, it turned out she had a rare immune disease. She told us her fears whether she would have the strength and time to bring up her child many times.

During the family care N.N. needed help to arrange her things because of her dependence and illness, however she tried to be cooperative. She wanted to work by all means, but her employment came always to an end sooner or later because of her health. N.N. thought of renting an apartment to be able to move on and she diligently saved up for this. She made friends with two mothers in the Maternity House who were bringing up their children with love and care. Thus she also had some good examples besides our advices. Her housing situation had not improved, though, as she could not sustain a job. However, thanks to her regular saving some money she could collect a significant sum. By that time a year had already gone by and we were looking for the solutions to move on. She did not have any relatives or friends, she could not count on any help. During her stay we could help her regain her lost papers duty-free, the situation of her daughter was cleared by family law after a long time and her case of alimony was solved. To N.N.’s request she received a public health care ID as according to her health a 50% reduction of work capacity was declared for her.

N.N. met the conditions of the tender of the ISZCSM and the local government of B.A.Z. county. The tender could be given in through the Local Child Protection Expert Service. It was very important for winning the tender that N.N. had her own resources. We contacted more nearby local governments in villages to help N.N. with her case of buying a real estate. In a small village we found a house with a garden and furniture that fitted both N.N. and the tender.

Both the local government of the village and its residents accepted them among themselves and helped them. As a result of a successful tender N.N. became a house owner in three months. 

 

 The successful story of K.T.

K.T. was 29 when she moved in the Maternity House with her three-year-old son. T. was brought up by state care and foster parents. First she worked in a gardenry, later she also worked as an assistant at a market. Two daughters were born from her partnership at that time. She lived in a lodging with her partner many times, but their living was very difficult because of little income and occasional job possibilities, thus they moved to her partner’s mother. With time their partnership went wrong because of the drinking and aggressivity of the man. Her partner’s mother did also not support T, what is more, she warned her to leave with her children. Difficult years came, she ended up in the streets.

After some years she met her current partner, who supported and strengthened her to carry on. Their son was born. First they live at the workplace of her partner in a service apartment. After some time the man turned towards drinking, though, and he neglected his work as well. After he had lost his job, they had to leave the service apartment. This was the time when she learned that she became pregnant again. The little child fell ill more and more, so they often had to travel for examinations to the hospital in Miskolc. At that time T. ask for a place in the Maternity House. Her she gave birth to her daughter.

T. easily fitted in in with the community of the home, she made good contacts with the residents, and she takes part in everyday chores. We mainly had to help T. with improving her knowledge in child care, and household, we had to support her in keeping her surroundings clean. T. cooperated in everything in the family care during her stay at the Maternity House, she can manage her things independently, she even saved some money. She cares for her children, who are well-groomed, their clothing is clean.

She does everything to have her own home and be able to start over with her children. As when she became an adult, she did not received the life starting support for state care children, she had the possibility to apply for a tender to gain a house. In cooperation with the local child protection expert service she could win the tender. She managed to buy a house in a quiet village with some help of the home creating support. The family house is in the center of the village, both the kindergarten and the school can be found close. T. likes gardening very much, so she was especially happy to be able to buy a house with a garden. At Christmas the residents of the Maternity House were helped by many people within the frames of a movement callad “Can we help?” started by the broadsheet Észak-Magyarország. T. received – among others – bed clothes, children’s toys, and gardening tools as an offer of an Ltd.. She received them with happiness and grace. Among her future plans are doing a course, and later she would like to get a job in the nearby city. T. can move in her first home in April.

It is a good feeling and a professional success that after so much hardship and many afflictions T. and her children could get their own home. 

 

L N’s success story

The story of L N, a 38-year-old mother, began at the age of 16 when her family life and relationship with her mother went sour. She did not know her father; she was raised by her foster father. One day at the age of 16, her mother left overnight, they knew nothing of her whereabouts for months. L’s foster father began to harass her, so she spent more and more time in school, and at her relatives. From her lack of a mother and the harassment of her foster father, she escaped into marriage at the age of 17.

Initially, they lived in a rented flat with her husband, and later purchased a small family house in the country on credit. This was when problems began, which led to the deterioration of their marriage. Initially, her husband went out and revelled more and more. Quarrels became an everyday phenomenon, her husband was pathologically jealous without a reason, he constantly insulted her, and on some occasions, he even hit L. He spent the family income and his wages on his passions. After her divorce, she sought help from her relatives, she could not count on her mother or foster father.

They could stay with her relatives but only for a short period of time, since there was not enough space for two families in their home. In the beginning, she was unemployed, and she did not have enough income to provide for their daily living, she took out a loan and moved with his son to a rented flat. She found a job in a factory in Miskolc, where she started working three shifts. In addition, paying the rent and the loan instalments took up all her income. At this point, she took out several more loans from different financial institutions. She became bankrupt and could not pay the high rent, or provide a livelihood for themselves.

In her final desperation, she visited the local family support and child welfare service, and asked for their help to be admitted to the Maternity Home. In the course of the family caregiver works, the problems were identified, and the future goals were determined. When she moved in, L was mentally and physically exhausted, she could not process her divorce from her husband, the experienced abuse, the lack of parental support, and her solitude. She struggled with depression; listening to the advice of the family caregiver, she took advantage of the assistance of the psychotherapist working in the Maternity Home on a weekly basis.

During her stay in the Maternity Home, she was co-operative, established a good relationship with the residents, her helpful and open attitude helped several new residents to integrate into the care home community. She manages her own affairs; she does everything to ensure an income and thus her life later as well as her housing. L still works three to four shifts in the factory, and this year she has successfully completed a fire safety training as well. Upon completion of the training, her salary increased, so she can save more, and she also pays the loan instalments on time every month. She received appraisal at work for her precise and hard work. Due to her efforts and commitment, she has already repaid one loan in full.

The family's stay in the care home will expire in June this year. At her request and as a result of successful family care, she and her son will move to the Follow-Up Residence of the Maternity Home. We consider L’s mental strengthening, willpower and perseverance a professional success, which serves as a proof for other mothers, that there is a way out towards an independent, new life, however hopeless the situation may be.

 

Izabella's success story

Izabella (27) has been a resident of the Maternity Home with her 16-month-old son since May 2012. They used to live at her partner's mother, but her relationship with the woman deteriorated, so Izabella and her child had to leave. Since Izabella lived with foster parents until the age of 18, she could not count on support from any relatives; she did not keep contact with her biological parents or her siblings.

After they moved in, she maintained the relationship with the father of her child, who often met with the child as well. As a result of her situation, Izabella was entitled to housing benefit. We kept looking through advertisements for several months, in search of a flat or house for them to live in. Izabella tried to go and see as much as possible in person, until during the autumn, a family house in the country was suitable for them to buy. Due to the help of her aftercare worker and the Maternity Home, there were no problems with the administration, and the purchase contract was concluded in December 2012. Izabella intents to move to her own house in the spring. In the coming months, she would like to save money, so that she will be able to buy furniture and start a new life. (She is constantly collecting donations: a gas stove, tools from donations, etc.)


Professional failures 

 

N. H.

H N moved into the Maternity Home at the age of 32 with her five minor children. According to the mother, they took refuge at her mother's place because of alcohol abuse and ill-treatment by the youngest child’s father; however, they could not stay long due to a lack of space. The four older children went to school, while the youngest was in kindergarten. As a full-time mother, the mother supported her family from the allowances she received after the children. The family led a noisy lifestyle, which made it difficult for them to fit into the community. The mother’s child-rearing practices were characterized by immoderation. After the first one or two months, the mother's budgeting difficulties have also been revealed. 

Having got to know the family, we first tried to help the mother to integrate into the community of the residents in the Maternity Home and to control her temper when disciplining her children and not to neglect them either. 

We proposed couples therapy as an option in relation with her broken marriage. In addition to discussions with a caregiver and mental counselling, the help of a family therapist and a mental health professional was also available to the mother, which she unfortunately declined. After a few months, the lifestyle of the family showed some changes. We experienced a positive change regarding primarily the eldest child: she performed adequately in school, assisted in the 'disciplining' and supervision of her siblings, was in the age of choosing a career, and prepared to continue her studies. The other three school-aged children showed behavioural problems in school with shorter or longer interruptions, we talked a lot about this as well, and kept in touch with the school to find a solution. 

Family care was hindered by the fact that the mother did not have any vision of the future, only lived for today, and had no budgeting skills. We prepared a money management plan, but she kept spending any money she saved for various reasons. 

We advised her to look for a job. We prepared a professional CV. Her job search was unsuccessful. 

A year had passed and the existing problems were only intermittently solved. Within a year, the mother was able to put aside only a few thousand forints. The mother failed to meet the objectives established jointly in the family care plan, her intention to cooperate was just an illusion; she could not stay longer in the Maternity Home.

It was in the last days of the year that a mother of two was admitted to the Reformed Maternity Home, who was already accepted into maternity home care for the third time. They were already known to the family caregivers of the Maternity Home, too. The mother repeatedly tried to live separately from her violent partner, but he kept seeking her out and persuading her to live together again. We notified the child welfare service and family caregiver competent over their permanent address that it had been the third time that the family was admitted into the support system.

The mother came from a small village in B. A. Z. county, was of Roma descent, completed eight years in primary education, had a thin physique, and had been through a lot, yet she was a cheerful and exceptionally helpful 28-year-old woman. Her spouse was unemployed, a former prison inmate, and led an alcoholic lifestyle. He was aggressive, but the mother did not claim that he would have severely physically abused her. However, she suffered a lot because of psychological abuse. Of the two children, the boy was of preschool age, was born with club foot, suffered from asthma, was extremely thin, always ill and, at the time of being admitted to the care home, malnourished, thus required immediate medical attention. They had lived in a mouldy, damp, small house, which only worsened the child's condition. The girl was an elementary school student, with a developmental level appropriate at her age. She had bad memories in connection with her father, mentioned several times that her father had harmed her mother, and they had had nothing to eat.

The family caregiver was able to have personal and deep discussions with the mother; they prepared the care agreement as well as the short and long-term care plans. The short-term plans included the school or kindergarten enrolment of the children, actions to be taken in connection with the health of the boy, and redirecting the mother's income. The long-term plan was to take care of the mother’s housing problem and relationship with her spouse. The client was co-operative in everything; however, knowing her earlier decisions, it was to be expected that she would return to her spouse again. After finding out their whereabouts, the father often visited them, but the mother did not reveal anything about their plans. She continued to comply with the care agreement, saved money, did not violate the house rules, took care of the physical and mental development of her children, and even helped others if she could. She also managed to find a job, but her spouse still constantly harassed her. It turned out that the mother even gave money to the man from her salary and other incomes, when he visited her. She did not report this to her family caregiver. It seemed that the client was willing to make every effort to solve her problems, but she could not sort out her relationship with her partner. The mother and her children visited their relatives on a weekend. After her return, the mother’s relationship with her fellow residents and family caregiver became distrustful; she became irritable. Despite the fact that she could always discus her worries with the employees of the the care home, and she had previously used this option, she became secretive. Her health condition rapidly deteriorated, she was in pain; at this point she went to see her family caregiver to tell him that she was pregnant, her pregnancy was high risk, and the doctor had recommended immediate surgery. As part of the life-saving surgery, the mother's womb was removed. During convalescence, she did not wish to meet her spouse and was planning her common future with her children yet she still kept in touch with the man. The family caregiver asked them to supplement the man’s missing documents, so that he would be able to find a job and provide for his family if they were planning their future together. After this, the mother became completely uncooperative, only partially complied with the care agreement, and did not report to her family caregiver. It was perceptible that our willingness to help was a burden to her, and she soon returned to her spouse.

The mother had several opportunities to turn her life around. However, she could not take advantage of the opportunities, and did not make full use of the help offered. This family received much more attention and time than others did, but our efforts did not yield results.

The case brought disappointment rather than the feeling of failure.

A mother of two applied for admittance to the Maternity Home because she was unable to live with her spouse any longer:

He abused her, had alcohol problems and her children were afraid of him; he “terrorized” the family.

After moving in, she was helpful and cooperative, she discussed the necessary tasks with her family caregiver, she took care of the children’s schooling. She asked us to keep her stay in the care home completely secret, because her partner would surely look for her. After a few days, the family caregivers noticed that the mother often leaves for longer periods of time. She seemingly complied with the agreement, but she was not sincere.

The children's behaviour also showed disconcert. They often had fights with their mother. After a week, she notified us that she would go home with her children, because she brought only a few of her belongings and she needed her own things. In the evening, she called in to tell that she would come back only the next day, but she did not turn up for several days. When she finally showed up, she claimed that her partner held her and her children captive. We heard about the incident with consternation and compassion. The residents informed us that there were cut wounds on the woman's forearm. To the caregiver's question regarding the source of the wounds, she replied that they were self-inflicted and that she had seen the doctor about them two days ago. This did not support her earlier claim that she had been held captive. After this, her spouse had showed up and kept harassing her and the other residents. He called, rang at the door, sometimes he kept ringing the phone even at night. The mother asked us to send him away, she did not wish to speak to him, but we have learned that when she went out, they continued to meet with him. The Home has become the scene of their family game. Her children were confused and offended; they did not understand their mother's behaviour. She always agreed with the family caregiver, she kept making promises, even though it was not necessary, because if she wanted to continue to live with him and move home, she could have done easily. She repeatedly made promises, kept apologizing and wanted to go home for a week to try and see if her partner had changed. Her children did not want to go with her but in a few minutes, the whole family unanimously decided to move out and try to continue their life together once again.

In this case, the mother’s uncertainty, indecision, and selfishness had further intensified the tension in the family, the situation did not change, and she only exposed her children to another trauma. In this case, all we could do was notify the family support service of their departure.

K F

K F was a resident of the Maternity Home. She arrived with her three children and she was pregnant with the fourth child. We had already been acquainted with the family, since they already had one long and one very short stay in the Home.

In the course of her tumultuous relationship with her spouse, big quarrels and great reconciliations followed each other. They lived in a suburban winterised holiday house, where they raised their children in a small space, in a single room, under humble circumstances.

It was a staff member from the family support service who had contacted the Maternity Home and informed us that the couple's relationship turned bad again, and the circumstances were not suitable for the expectant mother and her children. The family was put on a waiting list, and they were admitted as soon as the opportunity arose. The mother told her ideas, and revealed to us that she would have liked to start an independent life and wished to end her relationship with her partner because she had “had enough”. Until the birth of the fourth child, the mother seemed to be very cooperative, she complied with the agreement with her family caregiver, and she was saving money knowing that she would also need her own resources if she wanted to buy a home with government support.

However, after the birth of the child, she often visited her sister-in-law, exposing the newborn child to the gruelling journey. It was noticeable that the mother was no longer governed by her own ideas, but by those of her relatives. She boasted to her spouse and relatives about how much she had saved and she began controlling her life independently, with the guidance of her sister-in-law. After a short time, she announced that she could solve her problems on her own, and she would move in with her partner once again, until she would have her own home. Later, we found out that they still live in the same suburban holiday house, their relationship remained turbulent, and they were expecting the fifth baby.

F. K.

[Professional successes] [Professional failures]

Professional failures 

H N moved into the Maternity Home at the age of 32 with her five minor children. According to the mother, they took refuge at her mother's place because of alcohol abuse and ill-treatment by the youngest child’s father; however, they could not stay long due to a lack of space. The four older children went to school, while the youngest was in kindergarten. As a full-time mother, the mother supported her family from the allowances she received after the children. The family led a noisy lifestyle, which made it difficult for them to fit into the community. The mother’s child-rearing practices were characterized by immoderation. After the first one or two months, the mother's budgeting difficulties have also been revealed. 

Having got to know the family, we first tried to help the mother to integrate into the community of the residents in the Maternity Home and to control her temper when disciplining her children and not to neglect them either. 

We proposed couples therapy as an option in relation with her broken marriage. In addition to discussions with a caregiver and mental counselling, the help of a family therapist and a mental health professional was also available to the mother, which she unfortunately declined. After a few months, the lifestyle of the family showed some changes. We experienced a positive change regarding primarily the eldest child: she performed adequately in school, assisted in the 'disciplining' and supervision of her siblings, was in the age of choosing a career, and prepared to continue her studies. The other three school-aged children showed behavioural problems in school with shorter or longer interruptions, we talked a lot about this as well, and kept in touch with the school to find a solution. 

Family care was hindered by the fact that the mother did not have any vision of the future, only lived for today, and had no budgeting skills. We prepared a money management plan, but she kept spending any money she saved for various reasons. 

We advised her to look for a job. We prepared a professional CV. Her job search was unsuccessful. 

A year had passed and the existing problems were only intermittently solved. Within a year, the mother was able to put aside only a few thousand forints. The mother failed to meet the objectives established jointly in the family care plan, her intention to cooperate was just an illusion; she could not stay longer in the Maternity Home.

It was in the last days of the year that a mother of two was admitted to the Reformed Maternity Home, who was already accepted into maternity home care for the third time. They were already known to the family caregivers of the Maternity Home, too. The mother repeatedly tried to live separately from her violent partner, but he kept seeking her out and persuading her to live together again. We notified the child welfare service and family caregiver competent over their permanent address that it had been the third time that the family was admitted into the support system.

The mother came from a small village in B. A. Z. county, was of Roma descent, completed eight years in primary education, had a thin physique, and had been through a lot, yet she was a cheerful and exceptionally helpful 28-year-old woman. Her spouse was unemployed, a former prison inmate, and led an alcoholic lifestyle. He was aggressive, but the mother did not claim that he would have severely physically abused her. However, she suffered a lot because of psychological abuse. Of the two children, the boy was of preschool age, was born with club foot, suffered from asthma, was extremely thin, always ill and, at the time of being admitted to the care home, malnourished, thus required immediate medical attention. They had lived in a mouldy, damp, small house, which only worsened the child's condition. The girl was an elementary school student, with a developmental level appropriate at her age. She had bad memories in connection with her father, mentioned several times that her father had harmed her mother, and they had had nothing to eat.

The family caregiver was able to have personal and deep discussions with the mother; they prepared the care agreement as well as the short and long-term care plans. The short-term plans included the school or kindergarten enrolment of the children, actions to be taken in connection with the health of the boy, and redirecting the mother's income. The long-term plan was to take care of the mother’s housing problem and relationship with her spouse. The client was co-operative in everything; however, knowing her earlier decisions, it was to be expected that she would return to her spouse again. After finding out their whereabouts, the father often visited them, but the mother did not reveal anything about their plans. She continued to comply with the care agreement, saved money, did not violate the house rules, took care of the physical and mental development of her children, and even helped others if she could. She also managed to find a job, but her spouse still constantly harassed her. It turned out that the mother even gave money to the man from her salary and other incomes, when he visited her. She did not report this to her family caregiver. It seemed that the client was willing to make every effort to solve her problems, but she could not sort out her relationship with her partner. The mother and her children visited their relatives on a weekend. After her return, the mother’s relationship with her fellow residents and family caregiver became distrustful; she became irritable. Despite the fact that she could always discus her worries with the employees of the the care home, and she had previously used this option, she became secretive. Her health condition rapidly deteriorated, she was in pain; at this point she went to see her family caregiver to tell him that she was pregnant, her pregnancy was high risk, and the doctor had recommended immediate surgery. As part of the life-saving surgery, the mother's womb was removed. During convalescence, she did not wish to meet her spouse and was planning her common future with her children yet she still kept in touch with the man. The family caregiver asked them to supplement the man’s missing documents, so that he would be able to find a job and provide for his family if they were planning their future together. After this, the mother became completely uncooperative, only partially complied with the care agreement, and did not report to her family caregiver. It was perceptible that our willingness to help was a burden to her, and she soon returned to her spouse.

The mother had several opportunities to turn her life around. However, she could not take advantage of the opportunities, and did not make full use of the help offered. This family received much more attention and time than others did, but our efforts did not yield results.

The case brought disappointment rather than the feeling of failure.

A mother of two applied for admittance to the Maternity Home because she was unable to live with her spouse any longer: he abused her, had alcohol problems and her children were afraid of him; he “terrorized” the family.

After moving in, she was helpful and cooperative, she discussed the necessary tasks with her family caregiver, she took care of the children’s schooling. She asked us to keep her stay in the care home completely secret, because her partner would surely look for her. After a few days, the family caregivers noticed that the mother often leaves for longer periods of time. She seemingly complied with the agreement, but she was not sincere.

The children's behaviour also showed disconcert. They often had fights with their mother. After a week, she notified us that she would go home with her children, because she brought only a few of her belongings and she needed her own things. In the evening, she called in to tell that she would come back only the next day, but she did not turn up for several days. When she finally showed up, she claimed that her partner held her and her children captive. We heard about the incident with consternation and compassion. The residents informed us that there were cut wounds on the woman's forearm. To the caregiver's question regarding the source of the wounds, she replied that they were self-inflicted and that she had seen the doctor about them two days ago. This did not support her earlier claim that she had been held captive. After this, her spouse had showed up and kept harassing her and the other residents. He called, rang at the door, sometimes he kept ringing the phone even at night. The mother asked us to send him away, she did not wish to speak to him, but we have learned that when she went out, they continued to meet with him. The Home has become the scene of their family game. Her children were confused and offended; they did not understand their mother's behaviour. She always agreed with the family caregiver, she kept making promises, even though it was not necessary, because if she wanted to continue to live with him and move home, she could have done easily. She repeatedly made promises, kept apologizing and wanted to go home for a week to try and see if her partner had changed. Her children did not want to go with her but in a few minutes, the whole family unanimously decided to move out and try to continue their life together once again.

In this case, the mother’s uncertainty, indecision, and selfishness had further intensified the tension in the family, the situation did not change, and she only exposed her children to another trauma. In this case, all we could do was notify the family support service of their departure. 

K F was a resident of the Maternity Home. She arrived with her three children and she was pregnant with the fourth child. We had already been acquainted with the family, since they already had one long and one very short stay in the Home.

In the course of her tumultuous relationship with her spouse, big quarrels and great reconciliations followed each other. They lived in a suburban winterised holiday house, where they raised their children in a small space, in a single room, under humble circumstances.

It was a staff member from the family support service who had contacted the Maternity Home and informed us that the couple's relationship turned bad again, and the circumstances were not suitable for the expectant mother and her children. The family was put on a waiting list, and they were admitted as soon as the opportunity arose. The mother told her ideas, and revealed to us that she would have liked to start an independent life and wished to end her relationship with her partner because she had “had enough”. Until the birth of the fourth child, the mother seemed to be very cooperative, she complied with the agreement with her family caregiver, and she was saving money knowing that she would also need her own resources if she wanted to buy a home with government support.

However, after the birth of the child, she often visited her sister-in-law, exposing the newborn child to the gruelling journey. It was noticeable that the mother was no longer governed by her own ideas, but by those of her relatives. She boasted to her spouse and relatives about how much she had saved and she began controlling her life independently, with the guidance of her sister-in-law. After a short time, she announced that she could solve her problems on her own, and she would move in with her partner once again, until she would have her own home. Later, we found out that they still live in the same suburban holiday house, their relationship remained turbulent, and they were expecting the fifth baby. 

Noémi (22)

Noémi (22) moved into the Home with her four children in June 2012. Her youngest child was a few months old, the oldest was six years old, and they had to flee because of the aggressive behaviour of her partner at the time.

When we took the family into our care, they had no documents, were mentally broken down, abused, and asked for absolute secrecy. It soon became perceptible that it was hard for Noémi to handle her young age and her duties for the children. We provided her with life skills- and parenting advice, and assistance in dealing with her affairs. Her plans included applying for trainings and purchasing a small rural house where she could have moved to with her children after saving up during several months of stay in the Home. However, her care for the children often showed inadequacies, which later only became greater in magnitude, so we had to warn her repeatedly of her obligations. Against the advice of the family care service and that of our own, she believed that the best solution would have been to entrust the father with the care of her two smaller children. A man who often physically abused Noémi and did not like the oldest child because he was not the biological father.

Finally, after a day spent with her partner, Noémi decided that all four children would stay with the man instead of taking them to a psychologically and socially safe environment. (The family moved out a month ago, and according to our knowledge, the children are still not attending school or kindergarten...)

Back